If you could rewind an event or relationship and change the outcome what would you do differently?
Intriguing question.
I saw Source Code recently. It's a movie about a soldier, Colter Stevens, who wakes up on a commuter train in another man's body and discovers he's part of a governmental mission to divert a series of bombs threatening Chicago. He is given multiple eight minute increments to go back in time until he discovers the bomber. In order to discover the bomber he changes his actions based on the information he learns during the previous eight minutes.
As the reality of his situation becomes clear, he systematically sets out "to tend" to personal business knowing his time is limited.
It got me thinking.
If I had eight minutes left to live, how would I spend my time?
When life is whittled down to eight minutes, what's the pressing desire?
In Source Code, Christina, the soldier's train partner and eventual love interest poignantly says,
"I'd make those seconds count."
LIves pressed up against a wall, we know how to make those seconds count.
I don't have research to validate this but I bet the common denominator for most final moments centers around
Relationships.
Instinct leads us to get in touch with the ones we love.
We connect.
We say what begs to be said.
We drop pretense.
We mend hurts.
We make wrongs right.
We forgive.
We forget.
We leave the tyranny of the urgent at the back door.
Our hearts and bones cry out to be near the ones we love.
It's sobering.
Those who have been at death's doorstep behave as if every second counts.
They know the value of life and the people they love.
Their decisions reflect that.
They take vacations.
They are generous with their time and resources.
The full moons are enjoyed.
They taste and feel their moments intensely.
Today, I've been married for twenty-one years.
Count em.
21.
It astonishes me, really.
Quoting a FB friend in celebration of our anniversary,
"Happy Anniversary! 5 kids, 2 continents and a million photograhs, dirty dishes and bedtime stories later…you two still rock!"
Precisely stated!
I don't believe there's a "secret" to a sustainable, satisfying marriage, but if I find one, I'll let you know.
I do believe it has everything to do with making the moments count.
There are practices which support a healthy relationship.
Many aspects of my marriage, imperfectly implemented, resonate with this post.
Making the moments count is risky business.
We risk rejection. What if our efforts are not reciprocated? Ouch, that hurts.
I believe we would feel more successful in relationships if we took risks on casual days instead of waiting for the tragedies to lead us.
So, what's the point of risk you are facing in your current relationships that will impact the outcome?
I fully understand you have something to lose but, you have everything to gain.
Consider this simple coaching tool utilizing Chinese philosophy Taoism. In our lexicon TAO means
Transparent
Authentic
Open
It's risky business.
Changing outcomes is risky business.
awesome!